Twelfth Day Or What You Will
by indigocanoeple
Summary: In an AU where the Twelfth Night characters are in modern times, their story unravels during a police interrogation. The police officer doesn't know how to start. How did they end up in a knife fight, and why was the guy wearing yellow jeans being taunted by two others nearby? And why was that guy wearing yellow jeans anyways? One-shot, modern AU, please read and review. Thank you!


***A/N: Hello everybody, and welcome to my first story. It's one-shot about the Shakespeare play Twelfth Night Or What You Will. It was my English assignment, even though I had to bend the rules of the creative presentation part. It got a fairly good mark, and I'm proud of it, so I decided to upload it here. It's a modern AU, so there are a few changes, but I've kept most things true to the story. Also, this story contains MAJOR SPOILERS for the play, so if you're planning on reading it and haven't yet, you have been warned (also, go read it right away, because it's amazing). With that said, I hope you enjoy me story, and don't feel shy to review this story. I appreciate all constructive criticism. Enjoy!***

***Disclaimer: I, the author, do not own, nor claim to own any of the characters used in this story. All rights go to the respective owner(s).***

**Twelfth Day Or What You Won't**

"Could you tell us your names please?" asked the police officer, stepping into the room. The nine teenagers shifted in their chairs uncomfortably, obviously wishing they could be somewhere else. There was a long silence before the guy sitting on the very end, away from the rest of the teens, stood up.

"My name's Malvolio and I have nothing to do with me. I don't even know why I'm here!" stated the guy, apparently named Malvolio. He looked very serious, and acted like he was very rich, even as he stood in clothes meant for the average person. The police officer gave him a long stare before telling him to sit back down.

"Yeah, Mal, sit down," smirked a red-haired teen, the guy on his left nodding along. The nodding teen was strangely tall, with dark brown hair, and was dressed reasonably well. The red-haired guy seemed to be in charge, and the police officer could tell he was almost never serious, always goofing off, supported by his friend, the tall one.

"Oh please, Toby, don't cause any more ruckus. You're the whole reason we're here in the first place!" accused the blond girl sitting in the middle of everyone. She tossed her hair out of her face, and added, "You, and your no-good friends Andrew and Maria." Andrew, the taller guy, sat up straighter, as though he was trying to appear more innocent (or as innocent as you could be while being interrogated by the police). The girl sitting beside Toby and the blond one (who had quietly added her name was Olivia) immediately started protesting.

"If anything, you should get them to explain," Maria protested, pointing to the two twins sitting on the very end. They were dressed exactly alike, and the girl had her hair cut short like the boys. If the boy hadn't been there beside her, you wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. They both looked down to the ground when they were called out, and the officer had to do a double take to tell they were different people.

"Okay, would somebody please tell me what's going on!" shouted the officer, trying to understand what happened. He pointed at the twins and said, "You two, start talking."

"My name's Viola and this is my brother Sebastian. We're new to Illyria, and it wasn't supposed to turn out this way. Our family recently moved here, from Messaline, for Dad's work. We had only been here a few weeks, and then dad sent Sebastian off to summer camp. That's when I thought of this plan," she continued, only to be interrupted by Malvolio.

"Ah ha! There officer, you've heard the truth, now you can let the rest of us go," shouted Malvolio, pointing an accusing finger at Viola. Toby rolled his eyes at the dramatics, and the officer, sighed.

"Malvolio, was it? Well, Malvolio, I happen to want to hear exactly what this plan was, and how you ended up in a knife fight. So, if you'll sit back down and not tell me how to do my job," stated the officer, explaining things patiently, as though Malvolio was a child. Malvolio glared at the officer before complying, because he was in enough trouble as it was.

"Anyways, I was going to fool Dad into thinking I was Sebastian while he was away at camp, so I could go out and hang out with my friends overnight, because he wouldn't let me if I was Viola. Plus, it wouldn't be too hard because he was always at work. I didn't count on Sebastian coming back though," revealed Viola, looking pointedly at Sebastian. He shrugged sheepishly.

"So, I was hanging out as Cesario, just to get a feel for who I was being, when I got involved in all the drama of the neighbourhood. Anyways, I ended up being Cesario, trying to get Olivia to go out with Orsino," she continued, and a tall, handsome-looking teen sat up straighter. Now the only one who hadn't spoken or been mentioned was the short, thin, younger-looking guy, sitting beside Andrew, an almost permanent looking grin etched onto his face.

"Meanwhile at camp, I was getting a bit sick of being there. The food was not that great, and I had the worst cabin-mates ever. I wasn't friends with anyone except Antonio, who had saved me the first day in canoeing. He told me he could help me escape camp, and I told him where I was planning on going. He seemed reluctant, but helped me eventually," continued Sebastian, and this time when a name was mentioned the cop sat up and raised his eyebrows.

"Would that be the same Antonio who has now been arrested on charges of underage gambling?" asked the police officer. Sebastian nodded, before shaking his head at his sister, who'd opened her mouth to ask why her brother, actually the better behaved of the two of them, became involved with a criminal (or at least someone who broke the law).

"Back here, I realized that Olivia liked me, not Orsino, so I gave up trying to woo her for him," said Viola, trying to steer the conversation away from the law breaking they were on the topic of like any good twin sister in a police station, being questioned for being involved with a knife fight. Okay, maybe that did sound a bit strange, but she hoped there had been stranger stories told to this cop, even if it was just so all of them wouldn't be arrested.

"By then I had made it back to town, by bus, train, and taxi. I didn't know that Viola had been involved with all the teens in the area, so when I was confronted with all this mess, I was very confused. I didn't know why people were angry at me, nor why this lovely lady," at this Sebastian gestured to Olivia, who blushed, "was so infatuated me. But don't arrest my sister, she didn't mean to create this mess!" pleaded Sebastian.

"Right now, you're all under arrest. So, we found you with Toby and Andrew, fighting on the streets, and found Olivia coming over to stop it. Viola, you had just seen your brother, so you were coming over to get some answers, and I found you two tormenting… Malvolio was it?" summarized the officer, having troubles with Malvolio's name, and why he'd be tormented by Maria and the other guy.

"My name's Feste and I am the neighbourhood "jester". I saw all this happen, was there for all of it, yet still have a small part, like fools normally do. This may sound strange, but don't worry, I'm not crazy. All in all, officer, it seems as though this is assuredly all a massive case of many mistaken identities," he said, gesturing grandly, and making his small form burst with personality. The officer sighed, not used to dealing with a bunch of dramatic, very different teenagers.

"Which identities were mistaken? Wait," interrupted the officer, coming up with a better solution of how to figure out this complex appearing situation. "Let's go down the line, and tell me who you really are, and who you pretended to be, and why. This is only because I'm awfully confused at how some people are involved, or who they played," instructed the cop, pointing at Malvolio to start.

"My name is Malvolio, and I'm Olivia's neighbour. I was myself this entire time, unlike some people," he summarized, sending an annoyed glare at everyone else. "The only reason I changed is because I was told to smile, wear these ridiculous yellow jeans," continued Malvolio, gesturing to his outlandish pants (which pried a smile from the officer, and got Toby, Andrew and Maria giggling to each other, trying to escape notice). "I was also told to be outspoken, and be rude to Toby. All by a letter, which made me look mad, and got many taunts. All this, for naught. I have done nothing!" finished Malvolio, standing up at the end of his passionate speech.

"Bravo, bravo, the madman makes his powerful plea for the pity of the police, and the passion present is palpable," cheered Feste, and nobody could really tell how sarcastic he was being. Malvolio turned bright red, embarrassed, and sat back down slowly. The officer pointed to the next person in the line, which happened to be Toby.

"My name is Toby, and I am Olivia's cousin, staying at her place for the summer. I was myself the entire time, but I saw Malvolio change, and I know why he did," Toby said, glancing furtively at Maria, before continuing. "Malvolio was always stuck up; acting like he owned the place, ordering us around, when he wasn't really allowed to. Only Olivia was, because I was staying at her house for now. He acted like he had more authority, when he didn't at all," continued Toby, trying to explain why they had become annoyed with Malvolio.

"Kind of like if someone under you tried to take the position of Police Chief," chimed in Maria, helpfully, and the officer, frowned slightly, before nodding to show he under stood. He couldn't really believe that such a well-behaved kid would be so egotistical, but he was willing to listen. After all, things were obviously not all that they seemed. Toby continued his story.

"Well, we were fed up, so we decided to play a trick on him, and it worked. But we never thought it would go that far," finished Toby, sounding slightly repentant, but still not very serious. The officer, of whom they still didn't know the name, gestured to the next person, who happened to be Maria.

"My name's Maria and I have been Olivia's next door neighbour for my whole life. She lets me be her friend, but she's definitely the leader," started Maria, before stopping to explain that she had known Malvolio for almost as long, and got sick of his attitude. "I can imitate Olivia's handwriting very well, so I decided to fake a letter telling Malvolio to do the things he described, in hopes that Olivia would knock him down a peg, or refuse to be his friend any more. I guess he believed me, because he did everything to a T. I was just teasing him, having a laugh at him, when you guys drove by, stopping and picking me up. I've been myself the entire time, but I did impersonate Olivia's handwriting," finished Maria, sitting back and looking relaxed now that her part was over, or at least, as relaxed as you can be while being questioned by the police on who you impersonated, and how that was involved with a knife fight.

"Okay then. So, why did you even obey the letter?" asked the police officer, starting to become more curious in this weird case. Malvolio turned bright red again, and refused to answer. The others must have been feeling bad for him too, because they weren't telling the officer that, if they even knew in the first place.

"My name's Andrew and I didn't play anyone at all. I'm here for the summer, as Toby's friend, and I just went along with what Toby told me to do. I was upset looking because Cesario was stealing away Olivia, and the whole reason I had come this summer is because Toby told me that Olivia would like me. It wasn't my fault at all," summarized Andrew, effectively making himself out as a coward.

"My name is Feste, as you should already know, as you should also know my role in the area, if not by reputation, then by word of mouth, specifically mine," started Feste, distracting everyone from the poor Andrew, and baffling everybody with his words. "I pretend to be the fool. You must be smart to be the fool, and I suppose that's what I am. Yet, I enjoy playing the fool, and have never, to my knowledge of the subject, hurt anybody with my joking. Sure, annoyed them, baffled them, but never seriously hurt them," finished Feste, earning nods of agreement from everyone save Malvolio.

"My name is Olivia, and I have no idea what is going on! I am the leader of my group of friends, and I know Orsino appears to be absolutely infatuated with me. I know I really like… Sebastian, was it? Sorry, I'm used to seeing that face and thinking Cesario," apologized Olivia to Sebastian, who nodded his acceptance of the apology. "I was always myself, but I don't know about anything else."

The police officer held up his hand to stop Orsino from talking, and asked the one question he hadn't found an answer to yet. "Why, then, were Toby, Andrew and Sebastian having a knife fight in the street, with Olivia and Viola coming over to stop it? Tell me that, and maybe you won't sound so innocent," demanded the cop, desperate to get something, anything, to tell his boss, so it didn't look like he wasted this time on a bunch of foolish teenage drama.

"Oh, well that's the main moral of this whole story isn't it?" commented Feste, breaking the fourth wall, and leaving everyone else looking at him like he may actually be crazy, despite his earlier claims. "Well, I'm not going to say it."

"You see sir, at school Toby, Olivia and Cesario… Viola and I all got put together for a short film project. And ours was a play that had a fight scene in it. So, we really were just practising the fight scene, and I had to keep directing Cesario, which I know now is Sebastian," explained Andrew sheepishly. "I guess Olivia and Viola didn't know that, so they came over. And Maria was totally right to ridicule Malvolio for wearing those ridiculous pants," continued Andrew, showing an unusual amount of intelligence for someone who came across as a dumb person playing a smart one. This also reminded everyone of the ridiculous pants Malvolio still had on, and prompted snickers from most people in the room.

"So, you see officer, as do you reader," started Feste, again breaking the fourth wall that nobody else knew about, "It was all just a case of mistaken identity," Feste summarized. The rest of the teens nodded in agreement, except Malvolio. He started mumbling about how he had been bullied unfairly, and tricked unjustly and how there should at least be some punishment for the people who'd picked on him.

Normally the officer would be inclined to agree, but for some strange reason, as much as he liked Malvolio's manners and proper tone, something about the teen just rubbed him the wrong way. However, the officer knew that if he didn't assign some sort of punishment Malvolio would probably get his own revenge.

"Okay, just for being generally confusing and for wielding knives, however non-threateningly, I'm giving you each three days of community service. Meet at the police station next Saturday to start, maybe at 7:00 am. You're lucky I'm giving you only that much. Now, everyone go away, I'm getting a headache," ordered the cop, rubbing his temples and sighing. The teens hesitantly stood and made their way out the door. The officer sat in his seat, watching them leave one by one. Finally, only Feste was left.

"Good thing you prevented the revenge," commented Feste, again surprising the officer with the amount of insight the younger boy had. The officer nodded, and Feste took this as his cue to give one last piece of advice as he left. "Also officer, and reader, "started Feste, effectively destroying the fourth wall forever, and continuing with a moral, "Let this be a lesson. Things aren't always as they seem."

The End


End file.
